Who I am:
I am a 30 year old white male, Im very tall, 6'3", and heavy, 250 lbs. I have brown hair, shocking blue eyes, I am drug and disease free, though I DO like soft drugs such as 420 or molly; I just don't do them ever as it's expensive. I do not smoke tobacco, only occasional Mary Jane. I'm very hygenic though I do not always carry an image of being clean cut, I really do love having a beard and I view it as a male status symbol, just as long hair is a status symbol for women. My life's dream is to become a bigshot criminal defense attorney, make the big bucks by fighting the constant abuse of lower and middle class civil liberties. Ive had my civil liberties stomped on and trampled by so many different entities so many different times that I now feel I need to fight against this injustice. I am a good man with a good heart and a good honor code. And I can provide references to prove it too.
I drink a lot, I enjoy mid shelf vodka to wind down every night, I dont drink during the day. I'm a genius. And no I don't say that to brag, it's actually a bit of a curse. I overthink and analyze things, I can tell you all about classic literature, classical music, I'm a book, movie, television, and video game connoisseur/savant. I am into music to the point where I am a fanatic as well, all modern or classical music. I enjoy the theatre, opera, fine dining, dog and horse racing, gambling (I'm an amazing Blackjack and Hold 'em player and I can prove it, Ive busted out dealers before :) and certain Sports. I've traveled all over the world, 2 of my best friends are mensa alumni and I could qualify myself for mensa if I was interested in the hubris of being a certified genius, I just don't feel I need someone else to prove how smart I am. I don't believe intelligence can be quantified in any real legitimate way; I don't believe humanity has actually discovered a way to assess how truly smart someone is. But yah, I'm too smart for my own good and it causes problems. Life is a work in progress, I'm working on letting my intelligence only work for me rather than against me sometimes.
I do not believe in traditional gender roles AT ALL, and I am truly a male feminist. I despise men and view my own gender as weak, and that it really is a world where behind every great man there's a much greater woman. I have no wish to hang around expensive rich people's jaunts, dealing with vacuous rich people, just to find Miss Right. I just want to find a woman directly through email correspondance, for that is the age we live in.
I am not a blue blood, though my mother is a Daughter of the American Revolution, I am a direct descendant of Betsy Ross. I am fiercely patriotic, though I despise the government and what it has become in the last 50 years. I AM American royalty in a way, if America had such a thing.
Alas, we do not, so since the age of 14 I became poor and subsequently I have submerged myself in my fellow common man. I call it dumpster diving, or my Lost Weekend. I got down and dirty and did all the things the lower and middle class do: being truly poor, with less than a dollar in your pocket, live in abject squalor, commiting crimes and being a bad boy, live paycheck to paycheck, work 60 hour weeks for chicken scratch, live in a commune... I experienced a 3 year drug addiction (I've been stone cold free/sober from Methamphetamine for ten solid years with no relapses, I have steel will and very, very, very good self-discipline! :) I won't go into the gritty details here of what it has been like living hand-to-mouth, suffice to say it has been taxing and I grow weary of it now, though i am strong enough in constitution and will to live this way for the rest of my life, should the fates decree it.
I am now tired of being so poor, and not because I am greedy (I despise Greed, it's one of the original seven deadly sins) I am tired of being poor because with the proper start-up capital? The Sky is the limit. I could vastly improve my life, your life, our children's lives, the people around us? I have that sort of power. But, like most power, there is a direct polar opposite nature to it. I need people to believe in me before I can help them... *strikes a Jesus Christ pose* and I CAN help them. I'm not just spouting some foggy concept of the future, I have every last detail mapped out from beginning to end, I know just what i want, what it would take, and just how to get it. Every last detail is listed below, so keep reading. If we ever meet I can show you my plan, in detailed bullet points. We could have a lawyer notarize it as an agreement. It's a detailed one and I will succeed whether someone helps me or not, I just don't want to do it alone? As that will lower my appreciation of the human race, and women. And we really are great enough to help each other.
I'd like to cover a tiny bit more about my personality before I speak about what I want in return; so as to assure that any future candidates are compatible for a long term relationship to work. Here is a random list of stuff, my favorite stuff, so you can get an idea of what I'm like.
Favorite color: Green
Favorite season: Summer
Favorite Month: March
Favorite Movie: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Favorite TV Show: Frasier (Followed VERY closely by House MD)
Favorite Band: The Beatles (I'm a Beatlemaniac)
Favorite DJ: Dj DB
Favorite Rapper: YelaWolf
Favorite Sex Position: Woman on top / Cowgirl
Favorite Magazine: Game Informer
Favorite Anime: Neon Genesis
Favorite car: Black NSX
Favorite Song: Tennessee Love
Favorite Pet / Name: Cat
Favorite Saying: You get what you pay for.
Favorite Music Genre: Grunge
Favorite Country: France (been there twice)
Favorite Fashion / Clothing: Raver Chic with a clubber twist with an eye towards being fancy and the colors are always bright
Favorite Dancing: Liquid and Grinding
Favorite Restaurant: Sushi Den
Favorite Body Part: Vagina (I worship the vagina)
Favorite Artist: Van Gogh
Favorite Video Game: World of Warcraft
Hopefully this helps you get some idea of what I am like. A few more details: I have 2 surviving blood family members left, my blood line is almost extinct now. My blood is a mix of predominantly Siccilian/Italian, irish, Dutch, Cherokee Choctaw, and Brittish. I am atheist/agnostic. Im extremely left wing, just a little bit right of anarchist. Though, I do believe in some very conservative things such as the right to bear arms. I am extremely outspoken when it comes to politics, religion, and how to raise children. I am a slight narcissist, as you can see from my post. I'm a big talker/texter, I talk too much, I could talk all day. I call it motor mouth. Though I do have exquisite control over it, I can be forcibly quiet and brooding as well. I cuss like a sailor, but not around sensitive people or children.
What I am looking for:
I want a white female, age 20-45. You MUST be fertile as I want children. I want 2 boys and 2 girls like Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia,though I know it is random. Must be 7 or 8 or 9 figure rich, and no, money does not intimidate or impress me, it is meerly a means to an end. You can be petite, skinny, medium, fat, or obese, I really do NOT care; I am not an aesthetic person. I am able to maintain an erection no matter what you look like if I truly like you. I make love to the person, not their body. You can be physically disabled, or mentally askew, I don't care as long as you can rear children. You must LIKE sex, as I have an incredibly strong sex drive, (I am in my prime RIGHT NOW) I could go 2-10 times a day with the right woman. And yes I am serious. You must be bluntly honest, never lie to me as I will never lie to you and NEVER close down the lines of communication. You can be incredibly flawed and I will still love you no matter what, as a dog loves it's master. I am capable of great classical romance, Im talking Lord Byron, Rumi, John and Yoko, Romeo and Juliet.
I am looking for a Sugar Mama. And no I am not a golddigger, one of the agreements I would adhere to should we build a relationship? (I am willing to have a lawyer sign up a contract, that's how serious I am, so that both of us are protected) I will never ever directly ask you for cash money, ever. I have my own day to day cash money from working, as yes I am empoyed as a PCP. What I am looking for is: a woman age 20-45. A wealthy woman, and by wealthy I really do mean 7 or 8 figures. A woman who knows what it truly means to have money. I grew up rich in a mansion and many fancy cars, until my family lost it all in a recession. There is a skill to being rich and the common man knows nothing of it, but I do. You can't buy it either, you have to be born into it and taught it. Country clubs, philanthropy, society, culture, politics, the arts, world travel, learning, and building stronger foundations for your children. I am skilled in ALL of these things. I am looking for a like minded woman, who is seeking an educated enlightened companion. If you are old money, I speak your language. If you are new money, I can help you to appear old money, which in turn will bring more money.
What I will give in return:
I will be your husband should you wish it, or just a companion/best friend, or just a concubine if thats what you have in mind, your personal assistant, your go-to guy. I am open to any role you would like me to play, I am a classically trained actor. I will fight for you til my very last breath. I will protect you mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I will love you unconditionally, it's in my nature. I have never been unfaithful and never will, so I offer fidelity, though I do not require it in return. It's just who I am. I will help you to raise our children, or straight raise our children myself, say perhaps, if you work too hard. And raise them well. I will protect your assets as a vassal would protect their lords'. I will go to hell and back with you, travel anywhere in the world with you, I will feed you, love you, I will cook and bring you breakfast in bed and serve you hand and foot, and not because I feel I am required to but because I want to. I will sleep with you any time of the day, 24/7 whenever you need me I will come to you no matter what is happening at the time. I will help build your financial portfolio and help you trade on the Forex so that our children's great great grandchildren can eat. I will maintain our holdings and home and vehicles. I will dominate you like a tyrant king should you desire it, or submit to your every will like a slave. Whatever floats your boat. I am very open minded. I will write books about you (I am an author) I will defend you in court, I will write and publish songs about you, I have all that in me. I will shout my love and loyalty from the rooftops, should you require it. I guess to sum it up? I'll be your real and true man, I'm not like all the other scrubs you see.
What I want:
For you to solve all my pesky little problems that have accrued over the years. Keep in mind I will never, ever, ever ask you put a single dollar in my hand. I work for a living. I will sign a contract stipulating this. I want you to pay other people for their services to improve yours, and my, life. Mostly pay for school, doctor's, lawyers, and travel. All the things that Americans should get for free through the system, but don't. Here is the list:
I want a lawyer put on retainer (I have a good one I trust, hes $750 an hour) to draw up an agreement so you know Im not trying to take advantage of you? And so that you feel 100 percent safe, And so that I have the assurance and piece of mind that you will live up to your end of the bargain. A sort of Prenuptial agreement. And yes I will marry you if that is what you desire. =) I will marry you today.
In exchange for my companionship? I want several very real concrete investments in the future. They would be easy to satisy, we'd go shopping. These are:
All the tuition (up front) for an associates degree, a PH.D, and a Master's degree from DU law school, or some other law school of equal value. I ask for this as I wish to be self sufficent within ten years, and be a lawyer so I can defend you, my family, and my friends Pro Bono should they ever be in trouble. And also (and the true reason) because I have deep passion and love for the law. This will cost us roughly 75 grand.
A new car, as I like to drive. A souped up, classy looking, stylistic '79 box chevy. And pay for my gas. This will cost roughly 40-50 grand. So i can get to and from school in style.
An expense account that you and only you control, specifically and only for fine dining and an account at the best gym and my own personal trainer. I wish to become a Denver fine dining Connoisseur. Go out every night if I can, to a different restaurant. Sushi is a big focus of that. The only difference between my body (I'm fat) and Johnny Depp's(he's skinny)? Is the money it takes to balance your diet, pay for a personal trainer, and the time to work out. 3 things I dont have right now. I want to go back to being a hard bodied, extremely svelte and handsome man. I was once, when I was a teenager, when I was a lead singer in a band. I want to be your little chippendales dancer, and all that requires for that to happen is money. Maybe you are out of shape, you'd like to do this with me? Its roughly 46,500$ a year to eat out every night. There will be nights we don't. And, about 4500$ a year for the best personal trainer money can buy. Total: 51000$
Pay for the best health insurance money can buy, pay for a doctor and a dentist. I have an old back injury from when i worked at UPS as a box sorter, I want it taken care of. I have an ulcerous stomach from the stress of living poor, I want that taken care of too. And I want my teeth cleaned and professionally bleached, as I smoked and drank coffee for 15 years before I quit both. The max that will run is 100 grand, but I doubt it will be that much.
A 2 week vacation every year to travel to somewhere new, to better ourselves through learning and exposure to culture. I thought we might start with the city of romance, Paris, or perhaps Tokyo, like Lost in Translation? But im open to anywhere in the world =) That will be roughly ten grand for tickets and 10 grand for lodging and travel expense / food.
My mother is getting older. Move her to Denver and set her up in the best Rest Home money can buy. Thats roughly 55 grand, between the moving and the yearly cost of the home.
A new wardrobe. Both formal and casual wear. I haven't bought a new piece of clothing that I truly liked in about 5 years, as the clothing I like is too expensive. This will run roughly $10,000. This one is a guestimate.
Thats it. I realize it's generally traditonal for a man to do these things for a woman. I say fuck tradition, lets start our own and flip the script! It's really sexist to assume that the man will always be the provider. Let's prove it doesn't have to be that way!
If we round up the total comes to roughly $490,000. There will be some yearly upkeep that inflates the number, but really it will only eventually dwindle down to 0 money outgoing, over a ten year period. In return you contractually get my complete loyalty, mind, body, heart and soul, forever. It is a good deal, especially for a millionairette with money to blow. Also, please keep in mind, this money goes to pay other people, not me, for their service in turning me into the best man I can be, so that I might be able to take care of our family in the best condition I could possibly be in. No greed involved, just rehabilitation and job security. Once I am out of school and I hang my own shingle as a big shot lawyer, start a firm? Then I will keep my contractual obligation to start financially taking care of YOU, reverse the situation? For the rest of our lives, which I plan on being a timeframe of another 70 years. That's right, I will repay your money TENFOLD if you believe in me. As well as pay the $480,000 dollars back, down to the very last cent. It's a really, really, REALLY good deal. You should consider it. =)
Thanks for taking the time to read this absurdedly long post. I wanted to cover every detail. Send me an email and I will send you a pic. =) I will also be reposting this for a long period of time until I find my wife, both here and on a Sugar Momma website, while I work hard to attain these goals myself, in the unlikely event the right woman never comes along.
Have a lovely day, ladies! I wish you all the love in the world and hope you find what you are looking for in this journey, I hope I do! <3 font="">
